A Semi-Definitive List of Worst Nightmares by Krystal Sutherland

Summary from Goodreads:

Ever since Esther Solar’s grandfather met Death, her entire family has been doomed to suffer one great fear in their lifetime—a fear that will eventually lead each and every one of them to their graves. Take Esther’s father, for instance: He’s an agoraphobe who hasn’t left the basement in six years. Then there’s her twin brother, Eugene, whose fear of the dark goes far beyond the things that go bump in the night. And her mother, Rosemary, is absolutely terrified of bad luck.

As for Esther, she’s managed to escape the curse…so far. She doesn’t yet have a great fear because she avoids pretty much everything. Elevators, small spaces, crowds—anything that might trigger a phobia is off-limits and is meticulously recorded in her semi-definitive list of worst nightmares.

Esther thinks she has it all figured out, until she’s reunited with an old elementary school classmate—and first crush—Jonah Smallwood. The encounter leaves her stranded at a bus stop and swindled out of her phone, all her cash, a Fruit Roll-Up she’d been saving, and her list—not to mention her dignity. But the theft is also the beginning of an unexpected friendship between the two, one that sends the pair on a journey of self-discovery as they try to break the curse that’s consumed Esther’s family. Together they face their greatest fears, one debilitating phobia at a time, only to discover the one fear they hadn’t counted on: love.

Review:

I kept hoping to love this book. It has so many elements of things that I always tend to enjoy: magical realism, family curses, twins, mental illness, quirky/bantering love interests, and believable use of modern day technology (something a lot of YA is surprisingly lacking). Oh, and the cover is so cute too!

However, I never quite felt like I got this book. And there were several indecisive moments for me, when I almost ended up giving up entirely. I wish I could say this was a book I’m glad I did not give up on…but, it’s just kind of meh for me.

Overall, I guess, it was just trying to be too many things. It started off super quirky with funny family members all experiencing their own variations of the family curse that was meant to leave everyone suffering to the fate of their worst fear (which will eventually kill them). I loved the concept of Esther’s list of fears. And I loved how Jonah encouraged Ester to be brave and face her fears. I loved that they filmed it all. I even loved the results (that I won’t spoil) of him filming it all.

But, about half way through the book, it all takes an incredibly dark turn. The characters aren’t just flawed and quirky; they are seriously awful. The mom has a gambling addiction and is never there. The father is an agoraphobic who won’t leave the basement. And Esther is kind of mad at her mom for not leaving him. Then there’s her twin who is deathly afraid of the dark, inside and out (and monumentally depressed). Jonah comes from an abusive home life. And all of a sudden, all the happiness is just gone from the world. It was hard to read. Reading about Ester facing her small fears each weekend became less fun and more depressing, and the further I read, the less likely a happy ending seemed possible.

This book was so depressing. It went from cutesy to upsetting in like 2 seconds. And it was hard to wrap my brain around the shift. And then, when I finally kind of got used to the depression, the possible magical realism returns…I kind of wanted the book to stick with a theme and not go back and forth between what it was attempting to accomplish. I almost put it down for good, multiple times. Though, I guess I’m glad I did make it to the end for some kind of resolution, however brief.

I was hoping for something cuter/happier. When I accepted it’s dark, depressing storyline, the author tried to bring back the cute, but it just did not work any more. I couldn’t un-learn the bad. I loved the concept, but I was not a fan of the execution. The flawed characters were interesting too. I didn’t hate this book. I just didn’t love it, and I really wanted to. I give it a 7/10.